Babymaker II Pro

Red was invented the first time someone stubbed their toe on a rock and angrily declared, “This pain needs branding.” Naturally, the color of rage, wine, and overdue assignments took off. It also doubles as the universal sign for “Look at me, I’m important."

This color was first spotted breaking the sound barrier somewhere near a valet stand. Scientists believe it formed when a lightning bolt struck a vat of ego during peak sunlight. It’s the color of speed, spectacle, and someone revving their engine just to prove they exist.

Not to be confused with regular yellow, Lambo Yellow doesn’t whisper “caution”—it screams “LOOK AT ME I HAVE ARRIVED.” Found primarily on very fast things and people who wear sunglasses indoors.

It reflects sunlight so aggressively it qualifies as a solar panel. Possibly sentient. Definitely too confident.

Atomic Green was birthed in a lab accident where someone mixed Mountain Dew, plutonium, and optimism. The result glows slightly and has been the official color of “probably not FDA-approved” ever since. Seen on sci-fi tech, cartoon slime, and energy drinks that dare you to read the ingredients.

White came about when the gods of laundry ran out of dye. It was immediately adopted by people who think they can keep things clean forever. Also favored by minimalists, ghosts, and people who claim they “don’t sweat.”

Silver was discovered the night the moon got jealous of the sun’s glow and commissioned a more refined shine. It’s the color of stealth wealth, sci-fi dreams, and that one friend who always knows how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew.

Known to coat spacecraft, sports cars, and your favorite sleek gadgets, this Silver is less “look at me” and more “you’ll catch up eventually.” It doesn’t shout—it hums at a frequency only the future understands.

Rumor has it, if you polish it just right, it shows you your best timeline.

Black was discovered when the universe ran out of ideas and decided to make a color that matches everything, absorbs all light, and has major main-character energy. Worn by both fashionistas and ninjas, black also moonlights as the color of deep existential dread—and high fashion.